Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Love Notes for my Littles: For W- 3.26.14, 10:30 pm

Dearest Daughter--

What is it that I want for you in the future?  I guess the short answer is that I hope you're happy.  I hope you meet and marry someone who will value who you are, both in the glories of your successes, but also in the triumph of your tries that fail.   I hope you have beautiful Littles of your own some day, and that their presence in your life will constantly surprise you, about you.   I hope that they will fill your every waking moment with both the most delicious morsels of joy and the most sobering realities, often at the very same time.  Simply, I want for you the greatest happiness, no matter how you define it, for your definition will become my definition.  

What do I hope for your heart?  I hope, My Dear Daughter, that you have inherited from me my sense of adventure and the hint of gypsy soul that swells inside of me and yearns to be exercised.  There is much to be seen, and much to be done in this wide, lovely world God has created and while this tired old Mama is past her prime for adventure, she would thrill at the chance to live vicariously and experience the world through your beautiful blue eyes.

You have my blessing, My Precious One, to explore.  If your journeys take you across the backyard, the country, or the sea, I will allow it.  I have seen the benefit in myself of the dips into other cultures, the excitement of new places and I yearn to share that same sense of exploration with you.   I want for you great meals in beautiful places with exciting people and great pictures.  I want you to carry around in your pockets a bevy of unexplainable stories.  I wish for you epic walks, lost afternoons, wrong turns, happy accidents and the ability to savor the journey, not just the destination. 

I am hopeful we will travel together someday to places both old and new.  I will gratefully revisit places that I've once been along side you and the rest of our sweet family for the joy of seeing it fresh again while you all take it in for the very first time.   This I yearn for from the bottom of my Gypsy Momma's Heart. 

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Love Notes for my Littles: For Baby E- 3.20.14, 2:30 am

Hey, 2:00 am... We have to stop meeting like this--  or maybe not just yet, as my sweet little man nurses by my side.  Parenting trends will come, and parenting trends will go, but as I hold my little son close to me, I'm hard to convince that God didn't make that sacred space-- right in the crook of my arm, right next to the good stuff but close enough for me to lean down my head and kiss those delicious baby lips-- just for mamas and babies to revel the night away, sharing snuggles and slumber.  It's our own private space... A tiny nighttime soirĂ©e for two where we dance and you swoon "Muk-drunk" from your long and sweet meal.

It's so tempting to snuggle on and drift away to dream land as I hold your sweet soft weight and breathe you in.  But, I'll bow to my need for sleep and lessons learned from your big Sissy (stories for another day) and eventually put you in your bassinet.  You're separate but equal, still close enough to hold hands should you wake at night with a sweet dream or a little cry (what do babies dream about when they laugh in their sleep?), but Momma would be a liar if she didn't admit to sometimes holding you sleeping next to her for a little longer than absolutely necessary, as these quiet little moments are sanctified by God, and are surely His precious gift to me.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Love Notes for my Littles: For W- 3.19.14, 5:30 am

In the wee, small hours of the morning, your smaller voice echos across the hall.   A silly song and something else that you find very funny bubbles out of you and then we hear "pat-pat-pat" across to your door where you enact your greatest and most diabolical weapon to date against the hearts of your mom and dad... the mornful, sweet-as-sugar, "Daaddeee."

Like on a string, your "Daaddeee" comes to you from his warm deep sleep and sets you free and you come in on your pad feet, the sweetest sound ever, to the side of our bed.  Your daddy lifts you up and you snuggle close to me.  You smell just like summertime-- your head nestled close to mine... Coco Butter and Honeysuckle and Chlorine from your swim class the previous afternoon.

We lie there for a little, entwined as only a tiny child and parent can be, and wish the coming dawn away for a few more minutes.   I breathe in your summer baby smell once again and thank God for these little moments with you, when you are just my Baby and I am just a Mama who would move heaven and earth if it would hold this moment still for a little while longer.  (19 months)